Letting Go
by Magical Who
Summary: Hermione looks back on her summer fling and how it changed her.  One shot!


Backstory: Hermione is accepted into this internship program for promising students. While working in London at the ministry she meets and falls for another guy in her program. This story is Hermione looking back on the relationship and how she changed that summer. Doesn't really fit in that well with the rest of the books, but I hope you'll forgive me! Enjoy!

* * *

"I'm not going to have any friends this summer. I'm just going to go to the gym and watch TV." I must have said that about 15 times before I left Hogwarts to move away for my summer internship. Professor McGonagall had set up internships with the Ministry for the best students in each year and I had gotten one. I'm not good at meeting new people. It takes me awhile to warm up to people before I can be myself. And when you're looking at only spending 2.5 months in a place that makes the idea of lasting friendships or anything else seem kinda impossible…

Day 1—I'm coming back from the gym and you're there on the steps with your friend. You're quiet. He does most of the talking. You're going to play quidditch with some other people. You're cute. Really cute. I think about asking to join…but what would I say? I say 'see you around' and carry on in solitude. (I'm not going to have any friends, remember?)

Days go by. You stop by once and awhile to talk. Edward is there and so are my roommates, but it might as well just be us. Something just clicks. You're hilarious and incredibly smart. Did I mention that you're very good looking? We flirt, but it doesn't seem to mean anything. My roommates tease me that I have a thing for you. 'I just like his muscles' I say.

Something seems to have changed within me. I'm not sure if it's my roommate's influence or that I'm finally growing into a confident adult, but I'm different. And ready for something to happen for once. My roommates have some work related dinner to go to. So that means it's just me at the gym today. I do the usual routine and as I'm getting ready to leave I notice you in the gym playing quidditch by yourself. And this new me decides that it's a good idea to see what you're doing tonight. I walk into the gym and you smile as always. I tease you a little bit and you flirt back. It's a Thursday and Edward is always talking about going to the bars. Well Thursday is the best day to go, isn't it? So I ask if you're going to Diagon Alley. And you're not sure. Well let me know when you're sure. This new me is really good with guys. Let's keep her around.

Two hours later you knock on my door. 'I've talked Edward into going out.' So we're going to the bar. Other people are coming, but that's fine. I don't know you very well at this point and I'm going to take just hanging out with you as a win. We go out and have a great time. New me somehow manages to get your number because new me is awesome like that. I don't think I said more than 10 words to the other people we went with, but I think I said more than ten million to you. We have nothing in common, but that doesn't bother me. You're just fun to talk to. And we have the same sense of humor and the chemistry is incredible. I've liked guys before, but it's never been like this.

'Who are you?' my roommates ask when I give them the night's report. 'You're not the same girl we met a few weeks ago.' And they're right.

After that night, everyone is into group bonding. Playing quidditch and having group dinners. We're always drawn together. Or maybe it's just me making sure I get to talk to you as much as possible. We all go out to dinner and bring back a few six packs of butterbeer. Everyone is in our common room enjoying the impromptu party. You don't drink. I rarely drink. So a few beers in and I'm ready to flirt. I come back from the bathroom and there's a place next to you on the couch. I sit down and for some reason decide to put my arm around you. 'That's more like it' you say and put your arm around me. We sit like that a few minutes and I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is written all over my face. Everyone notices and everyone seems to know what it means except you. The night draws to a close with the only other point of interest being me grabbing your pecks and saying how hard they are (seriously who am I?).

It's the middle of the summer and its freaking hot. I come back to find that the air condition is out in my apartment. 'Sucks to be you' you text me (texting—a muggle invention that is so wildly addicting that even wizards have started using it). It certainly does, as it's so hot out I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep on my bed. I crash on your couch and try to fall asleep. Whether it's the fact that the couch is uncomfortable or that you're sleeping right on the other side of the wall, I can't fall asleep and get up in the middle of the night and go back to my room. Conveniently I leave my phone charger in your apartment. Classic. I ask you if you want to hang out the next day and you seem uninterested. I don't take it to heart though. 'That's fine, but I left my phone charger at your place. Can I come get it?' Once I'm over at your place, you seem very interested in hanging out and we end up talking for 2 hours. I guess it's a classic for a reason. I convince you to go swimming with me (one of my favorite activities when I was growing up) and in return I have to play quidditch with you. Not a bad deal.

'What time does the doggie paddle start?' you text me the next morning. Now I don't usually condone texting at work, but the freaking Ministry doesn't have anything for me to do and I'm bored out of my mind. We text for about an hour and a half before I decide to get back to work. Next day you text me and ask for Greg's email (another muggle form of communication that's so useful wizards have taken it up) so you can bug him. I give you his email and mine. Bug me too! And so it begins. We start emailing back and forth constantly at work. I'm starting to think you might actually be interested in me…or just as bored as I am at work.

Once again I'm trying to get you to come over and hang out. But you're a stupid part-time quidditch star and top of the class student and you need to study for your tests. You're killing me. 'Why don't you just ask him out?' suggests my roommate. But I can't do that. Guys are never interested in me…let alone really hot guys. But the seed has been planted. 'I'll do it tomorrow.'

Next morning I time my leaving for work perfectly. As I walk toward the parking lot with our rubbish, I hear your door open and close. I throw out our rubbish and we end up arriving at our cars at the same time. 'I have a field trip today', I tell him. 'That's exciting,' he says. 'Yeah it's better than sitting at work emailing some loser,' I say trying to keep it cool when my heart is racing about what I'm planning to do later.

I drive back home for the weekend to visit with my Muggle friends and family. I immediately tell them what I have to do that night. Totally out of character for me, but they seem supportive. And I know they'll be there for me when he says no.

'So are you going to ask me out to dinner or what?'

'Where do you want to go?'

Woah. I think that's a yes. I didn't plan for this. 'I'm not sure yet. But I will let you know.'

'Okay well you have my number. :p' Of course he plays it cool. Because he is cool and I'm some loser that he must have said yes to just to be nice.

After much awkwardness, the date of the date is set for Tuesday at the Leaky Cauldron at 8. I'm beyond nervous. Somehow I'm 17 and I've never been on a date before. I can't stop peeing. And apparently I'm glowing. It's agonizing as I wait for him to knock on my door. 'It's going to be super awkward,' I say to my roommates. They assure me it won't, but I still don't believe them.

He knocks and I open the door. The most awkward part of the date is over and I remember why I asked him out in the first place. The undeniable chemistry. The conversation never stops and we're laughing the entire time. Because nothing can ever go perfectly, my turkey burger is served raw. I cut it in half and ask if it looks cooked to him. 'Is that a tomato?' he responds. Well that's a resounding no. I'm so nervous that I don't know how to handle it, but he does. And he does it perfectly. And I'll never forget the look on his face when the waiter came around and asked us to leave. It was 11 and we'd been there for almost 3 hours. Time to go as the restaurant was closing. The goodbye at the end of the night is just a hug, which leaves me feeling a little disappointed. Overall though a great success for my first date.

There are a few ups and downs following the date. Most of the downs relate to your sister, but I'll leave her out of this. And all I can get out of you is a hug and your smile. I really like you and know you feel the same way, but I can't get you to make a move. And the summer is drawing to a close…

I'm the type of girl who likes definitive answers and plans. Things remaining up in the air don't mix well with me. One day I ask you where we stand. 'Since I'm going back to Durmstrang and you're going to Hogwarts in a week, it's kinda hard for us to stand anywhere.' And there you have it.

It's our last night in London together. Edward and I have a going away party planned for you and all you want to do is go the stupid quidditch game. Edward ends up talking you out of the game and we go back to the apartments. The whole gang is at the party and you don't seem to be acknowledging that it's our last night. So I steal your keys and you follow me back to my room to get them. I give them back to you and you almost get away without saying goodnight/goodbye. I call you back for a hug and then you leave. So I'm drunk and my emotions are magnified at this point. So I text you…

'You pretty much suck'

'I know'

'Why do you do it then?'

'I don't know'

Typical guy. Horrible with emotions. I climb into bed upset. But 20 minutes later there's a knock on my door. It's my roommate. 'Put on a bra. We're going to wake him up.' I'm half asleep, so I obey without questioning. Edward wakes you up. And somehow you're even cuter when you're half asleep. We talk like we've always talked. I say I'm going to bed and you give me a tight bear hug. For some reason I don't leave and we keep talking. But it's seriously getting late at this point. I go in for a final hug and you kiss me on the check. I'm practically crying at this point and in my confused state I manage to kiss your shoulder in return. I make you promise say goodbye to me before I leave after work tomorrow.

Perfect gentleman as always you help me carry my stuff to the car the next day. For once I can't think of anything to say to you. So we talk about the weather. The freaking weather. I gather the last of my stuff and we walk out together. People are waiting on you to play quidditch. You put them on hold for me. I go in for the final hug. I choke up a little bit as I say 'see you around.'

…

We're still talking at this point. But it seems to be slowly dying off. You say you're busy at school and I want to believe you. But I can't help but think it's you trying to end our friendship or whatever it is at this point. I still care about you. And the way this is dying off isn't okay with me. But I don't know what to do. I'm trying not to be clingy. Guys hate clingy. But maybe if I had been a little more clingy during the summer, things might have worked out differently. Whenever I listen to Taylor Swift all of her songs seem to be about you. I regularly cry because I miss you more than I can tell you. And I miss that confident girl I became around you. And maybe that's what I miss most. Because if I still had her, maybe there would be a new you. You'll always have a place in my heart and I like it that way. But I need to move on and I'm hoping by getting my Taylor Swift on I might feel a little better…

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you"


End file.
